San Diego

After two months of living in my hometown I have come to a few realizations.

As much as I love this city I don't ever want to live here again. It will always be home and I am very comforted by just mindlessly driving it's streets on instinct and letting all the memories flood back into my brain. So and so lived in that apartment and I ran out of gas on this block one night, I always took this route to school because it was more adventurous and had less stoplights. Even discovering the new places my friends have called their home in different locals around the county feels natural because it's home and there isn't much of this city I haven't seen at least once. But for whatever reason I feel like a tire spinning it's wheels when I am here. I get too wrapped up in the history of things and spend less time focusing on the future. This town is like a time warp that sent me reeling back 6 years and made it all too easy for me to forget the battle I have almost won in pursuit of my degree.
With that said it should also be noted that I have been struck by this sublime sense of companionship since I moved back down here. It is reassuring to see familiar faces every day. Not that I don't appreciate the friendships I have established up North, they are just different. After surviving the worst year of my life it is relieving to return to those I've depended on for more than two year. People who knew me and my father and understood our relationship and how devastating it was for me to loose him. Someone I don't have to see every day to maintain a relationship with since I barely see them now that I'm in college. Those who support the decisions that make me happy even though they know it will lead me further away from them.
So now my attention should be shifting towards the future. Graduate Studies and life thereafter. Will I return to Southern California? Most likely not. Do I want to stay in the Bay Area or Northern California? I couldn't tell you just yet. Am I entertaining the East Coast again? Certainly. My priorities at the time lead me to the answers I need but I'm starting to run out of idle time and need to keep powering through and find some good results soon. Things that will make me happy that I spent this unplanned time with my family but move me forward in my career and in my life.
But it all started out in San Diego.